Dear Sista Friend,
With the constant evolution of the internet and social media, we have amazing access to people and their lives. With a click of a button we can share our excitement with a friend who just got engaged or learn how to achieve a bomb twist out from a Youtube video. Although extremely convenient and useful, these images and videos may result or contribute to low self-esteem, provoke us to compare ourselves to others and believe that we are not as beautiful. The truth is: we’re right. There will always be someone whose eyebrows are more on fleek than ours, whose outfit is cuter or someone that is smarter. However, this doesn’t mean that we do not possess any beauty of our own. If we want to avoid coveting what our sista friends have we must celebrate the things that God has already given us, and not things he didn’t. In the end, our insecurities about our looks, our minds, and our overall self-worth are a direct result of our lack of faith and confidence in our savior Jesus Christ. The only solution is building a stronger relationship with Him.
1. Get to know God and you will get to know yourself.
If we are practicing our faith and truly being confident in our Savior we would value our physical appearances and know that there is no need to compare ourselves to other women. In Genesis 1:27 it says that “men and women were created in God’s image.” Our God is beautiful beyond reasonable doubt and therefore, we too are beautiful. By getting to know our Savior through prayer, reading scripture and attending church we build a stronger relationship with Him and learn more about who He actually is. Since we are made in God’s image, building a better relationship with Him means we are actually getting to know ourselves.
2. Know that you are fearfully and wonderfully made
I’m sure you have heard of the popular scripture that we are fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14). What exactly does that mean? It means that you are sexy, intelligent, a marvel to look at, unique, and a one of a kind creation. As women of God we fear Him because we have respect and reverence for Him. Appreciating how attractive you are to God is one of the ways we can respect and worship Him. God worked incredibly hard on you, be assured that He makes no mistakes. You may not look like the girls on Instagram but that’s because you are not supposed to. Pray and ask God to reveal to you your unique gifts and how you can use them to bring glory to His name.
3. Encourage your sista friend
Many of us have dealt with issues of low self-esteem and bad habits of comparing ourselves to one another in high school or college. Some of us have become confident women of God, and that is AMAZING. Now it is your responsibility to help another sista friend that may be struggling. In Ephesians 4:29 it says, “do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.” This means that you need to tell a sista friend that you love her shoes, that she is smart, that her make-up is on point, instead of being jealous of her, criticizing her and gossiping about her.
If you haven’t gotten to the point of realizing how stunning you are, that is okay. This doesn’t mean that you aren’t qualified to encourage another sista friend anyway. Sometimes the best way to get through something is with someone else! You can pray, cry, and encourage your sista together. Each day you should go deeper into your prayer life and ask God why He has placed this particular sista friend in your life and what you can do to encourage her.
Although it is difficult to build your confidence remember the enemy comes to kill, steal and destroy (John 10:10) and what better way than to destroy a sista’s self-esteem than to make her feel unworthy, incompetent, and unattractive. Who cares how many likes you get on Instagram or about that guy that never texted you back? You are gorgeous because God said so and you are an overcomer! I urge you not to judge yourself by the world’s definition of beauty, but instead let your mind be renewed (Romans 12:2). Pray and ask God to help you view yourself the way He views you, as his beautiful daughter.
Love your sista friend in Christ,
Sharnell Robinson graduated in May 2015 from Southern Methodist University with a B.A in Psychology and Biology and now lives in New York. She will be attending medical school to become a pediatrician in the near future. She enjoys spending time with her family and writing poetry. Sharnell currently attends Memorial Presbyterian Church in Roosevelt, NY where she is involved with the Young Adult Ministry.