So. I’m 24 and single. But this time it is on my accord.
Let me explain. After college (and after being really buttoned up and a “proper” southern girl) – I moved to a really big city and decided I wanted to live. I mean really LIVE.
And I did. Dated…got heartbroken….cried…put myself together….then….dated….got heartbroken….cried…put myself together….then…dated….got heartbroken….cried…put myself together….then..
I was dating guys I wasn’t ready for. I was dating guys that weren’t ready for me.
Y’all get the point. So, I found myself on this cycle. This (never ending from my perspective) cycle and I had to figure out what the problem was.
Well, girl…it was me. I was the common denominator. Tough to hear and EVEN harder to understand. It took me a while to really “get” it. But once I did…I wanted to take a break. I had to figure out my issues.
So. I did. It’s been 5 months and some change. To be honest…the clarity I have is kind of freeing. The first few months of no physical activity were really difficult (lol I’m human!), but I’m disciplined. I’m seeking out happiness and really grinding towards my goals.
But ultimately, I’m seeking to hold all of the traits I want my man to have.
I really had to ask myself – if you have this grand a** list, shouldn’t you require YOURSELF to hold those traits too?
– God Fearing ? (I’m working on it)
– Physically in Shape? (I’ve got 40 pounds to go)
– Ambitious? (I’m chasing my goals)
-Kind-hearted? (yo, working on that one too – again I’m human)
The list can go on and on.
My dating hiatus will end when I’m ready. Not a moment before.
I proceed before you as a open-book to tell you that you have the right to do the same. It is perfectly OK to take a complete break and not have to answer any questions for it. Work on yourself. Take time out for your goals. Push yourself past your comfort zone. Figure yourself out. Become and embody everything on “your list” that you want him to have. Be Great.
But – be ok with taking a time-out. I promise nothing bad comes with learning more about yourself. You’ll be better for it.
Your Sista Friend,
Timka Lockheart is an ATLien who followed a dream and moved to NYC. She received her Finance degree from Alabama A&M University in 2013 and become an Investment Banker. After 2 years of the IB life, she moved on to become a corporate strategy and advisory professional.