The Quarter Life Crisis: Where “should” you be at 25?

Dear Sista Friend,

Over the last few days my linesisters and I have been discussing where we thought we would be by age 25 because now we’re actual adults right?

As kids, we look up to people in their 20s as if they’re sooo grown and have it all together. Twenty-five seems like such an “old” age when you’re 15 longing to break out on your own. We thought 25 year olds had it going on! When in actuality they were experiencing all the things we are right now.imissbeing

If you’re anything like me, you made a plan and had a timeline of where, when and exactly how things were going to happen. *laughs out loud* I was going to be working at a major public relations agency, engaged to the love of my life, and still living in the south (because I don’t do the cold).

When I tell y’all that couldn’t be farther from my life!

I am a full time student with full time student loans making part time money, living in the cornfields of middle of nowhere Illinois where snow is just another form of precipitation. (Like what you mean y’all don’t shut down at the first inkling of snow?! I have to actually function in this weather?!)

My linesisters and I realized that A LOT has happened for each of us in the past three years. As I continued to reflect, I couldn’t be happier with where I am in my life and super excited for what is to come! I never dreamed I would be in a doctoral program and DEFINITELY not in the Midwest “so far” from home.

Jumping feet first into the deep end, I’ve learned that I’m stronger than I thought and I can adapt to life’s many challenges. It takes a lot to step outside your comfort zone and leave everything you’re familiar with to embark on a completely new journey relatively “alone”.

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I view this as a time of growing…of learning…of adapting…of becoming. It’s a time to take risks, embrace new opportunities, and cherish each moment.

Look to the future but appreciate and live in the moment. (It’s not easy, trust me. I STILL make a plan/timeline because Excel spreadsheets are LIFE! I still have the longest to do list and pride myself on checking things off. But hey, I’m a work in progress.)

Seek authenticity within yourself. Commit to digging deeper into who you are, what you believe, what you value and what is best for YOU.

Celebrate the small milestones just as if they are the final goal. “Big milestones are just a bunch of small milestones stacked on top of each other.”

Most importantly, surround yourself with positive, supportive, loving people that pour into you as much as you pour into them.

Your Sista Friend,

-Devean

2 Comment

  1. Sista Friend says: Reply

    Love this post! My life, too, is far from what I imagined at 15. I thought I would be in law school, but I am in a graduate program at the University of Penn, but for others, their life trajectory may not be what some considered linear like ours. I wonder if you have advice for the people who are not where they imagined. People who may still be in undergrad when they thought they would have graduated at 22. People who may have had a child and needed to take a break from school, etc. Any comments or suggestions?

    Thanks

    1. ItsJustDevean says: Reply

      Hi Sista Friend,

      Thanks so much for reading and commenting our our post! I’m glad you found it useful. I first want to say that I don’t have all the answers. However, I do understand not being where you thought you would be. First I would examine my current situation and find the good/positive in it. What are you getting out of it? How will it benefit you in the long run? I would then begin by reflecting on the journey. Truly think about all your experiences. The good. The bad. The ugly. Find the lessons and meanings behind them. Some you may not find because you haven’t yet had a new experience to use that lesson yet. But most times you will begin to understand why you went through certain things and how they changed you for the better. I believe that our journeys are unique and happen the way they are destined. We must focus on the blessings; on the positive experiences and opportunities that we’ve been granted. Trust me; it won’t be and is definitely not an easy thing to do. It is, however, super easy to wallow in self pity but that’s not fun or beneficial to you or those around you. This also goes back to my point about surrounding yourself with people that pour into you. I give my friends like a day (depending on situation) to be upset and then I’m like okay girl let’s get it together! I hope you or someone else has found this helpful. I will continue to ponder your questions and may come back with a full piece on it.

      Your Sista Friend,
      -Devean

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