Dear Sista Friend,
It’s been roouugghh. “Senioritis” was so real as I entered this last semester of coursework. But even before then I struggled through burn out. Going to school straight through with no breaks is for the birds (stay tuned for blog post)!
This semester has been even worse because I’m so close I can taste it but there’s this one class holding me back. Typically, you can chill your last semester right? You aren’t taking a lot of classes, your schedule is pretty flexible. It’s gravy!
This class is THEE most. Weekly homework assignments. Assigned seats. I’m like…am I back in high school?! Forced to sign up to bring snacks. It probably doesn’t help that it’s a 9:30 a.m. class either. The first few weeks I was HIGHLY annoyed. It was as if God was like, I know you’re close but let’s see if you’re ready. Let’s see how you handle this.
And truthfully, I was failing. I was always complaining about the class, how I was just so ready to focus on my own research, and everything else holding me back from living my best life.
I soon realized that being #NegativeNakeisha was only making things worse. (Y’all know I had to use names of Black women in order to truly identify with the personas.) Complaining and having a negative mindset only put me in a bad mood and made me more frustrated. There is nothing I can do about the amount of work the class demands. It is literally the last class I have to take and I NEED it for a graduation requirement. I wasn’t about to drop it and take something else next semester. So, it was time to shut up, suck it up and get it done.
I decided to become #PositivePauletta. I decided to focus on the end goals of the semester. It’s so easy for us to get distracted and bogged down by the small stuff that we lose sight of the ultimate goal.
Let me tell you. It’s not easy being #PositivePauletta. I definitely regress sometimes but I try my best to go find Pauletta and put her to work. I was encouraging a sista scholar of mine (also in the class) and explaining my new outlook on things. She gave me the sideeye like eehhhhhh I don’t know. Lol She heard me but wasn’t sure she could get there so quickly. She decided to become #CautiouslyOptimisticCatrina. Catrina is right there in the middle. She’s on her way to Pauletta but not quite sold just yet. And you know what? That’s OK!
Just knowing where you are allows you to take ownership of your actions and decide which direction you’d like to go. Take a moment to evaluate your mindset. Are you Nakeisha, Catrina or Pauletta? What steps do you need to take to find your inner Pauletta?
As my mom says, “it’s a temporary inconvenience for a permanent change”. Let’s not allow the small things to deter or distract us from the real goals.
Your Sista Friend,