Welcome to 2018!
Our feet are firmly planted in the new year. Some of us have already fallen off the bandwagon of resolutions and our resolve has softened some. That’s ok. It happens.
Instead of focusing on resolutions – there are ways to create life – shifting habits this year, ones that will change your life and make you better.
Want to change your spirit? Lose weight? Be a sweeter person? Get up earlier? Focus on you more this year?
“Change your Mindset.”
One of my mentors in my head, Myleik Teele, once commented, “hope is not a strategy.”
I agree. Hope and hopefulness are merely daydreams and fantasies. However, when you change your mindset to one of asking, “What are the steps to help me reach my goals?,” your life can change.
So, full disclosure, I believe in hard work. But when I started my new job in 2015, it was hard. A difficult, rocky transition into what felt like this unknown water that didn’t have a net to catch me if I fell. I was on the perpetual tightrope leaving a very lucid role to challenge myself to learn a new skillset and not fall as I waded through my own insecurities and anxiety. After a month, I hardened my jaw and knew I could do it. After month three…I really wondered who I was to pursue this role? This job? In New York? Me? Who did I think I was? I was a shell of myself and was so afraid. And mentally clawing to be who I knew I could be. My internal clock was turned to the wrong time and I had problems believing in my own potential. My narrative of authenticity was jacked and was constantly seeking outside validation for ‘who I thought I was.’
I had to be twice as good and I resented it.
What helped me change it all around?
I realized that this is my life and I can change the narrative at any time. To quote my auntie (in my head), Tracee Ellis Ross, “my life is mine and no one else’s.”
My life is mine. How powerful is that.
You have the agency, every day, to get truly uncomfortable about who you are and challenge yourself.
As I rounded out the six-month mark, I found that “month one” Timka deep in the recess of my mind and pulled for her to win. I hardened my jaw again and was resolute that I could win. I still struggled. But, each time I fell down, I simply brushed myself off and got back up. I believed that I could change and get better. I adopted a “growth mindset.” I knew there were little things I could practice to be better. Attention to detail? Going slower? Taking my time to get it right? Asking questions? Taking the loss to learn the lesson.
“Twice as Good?” I was ok with that. I strive for that now daily. Not just in my professional life, but my personal one too. I am who I am in private and public.
And I’m still standing. I changed my mind. You can too.
Your Sista Friend,